When Dreams Fall to Reality
by Owaranaimono Aite
Summary: While on a mission, Yoji and Ran are separated. After one escape, he realizes that his lover is still inside. A careless rescue attempt leads to past memories, pain, and destruction. How far will they go to be with each other, no matter what? DeathFic!


Notes: For the Emerald Dreams Fanfic Contest, which I picked the Yoji x Aya/Ran pairing.  
  
Pairings: Yoji x Aya/Ran (I call him Ran whenever his name is mentioned in the story, to avoid confusion) and slight hints of Ken/Omi  
  
Rating: R/NC-17  
  
Summary: While on a mission, Yoji and Ran are separated. After one escape, he realizes that his lover is still inside. A careless rescue attempt leads to past memories, pain, and destruction. How far will they go to be with each other, no matter what?  
  
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance, Yaoi, Torture, Rape, POV  
  
Spoilers: Glimpses into all Episodes where Ran had flashbacks about his sister.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was supposed to be difficult. Difficult for novice assassins. But maybe a smidgen easier for that select handful of overly skilled assassins. Which I think is what we were. Hell, I'd say we were the best that there was. But being cocky is the first negative thing to not be while proceeding onto a mission. But did we listen? Did we heed the spoken words from Manx and Birman? Did we listen to the technical diagnostics and evidence from Omi?  
  
Hell no, you bet we didn't.  
  
So in the end, I think that our own disregard for evidence, in plain sight is what led us to our demise. That our own belief that we were the best, that no one could break us is what I think set us off down the unending path of failure. Now I think that we both regret not listening or paying attention. Now I think that we're both paying for our own mistakes. But now, we're also making those we knew and love suffer as well.  
  
Where's the sense in paining everyone around us with our idiotic acts?  
  
The answer is, there is no sense. Plain and simple, it was our fault, we paid the first price, and we paid the most demanding price. A price that no one should be forced to pay, even in the last hours of their lives. What we endured, I pray to whatever deity that listens, that no couple in love should ever have to be pained by what we did.  
  
The taking of our innocence, the murder of one, the suicide of the one left behind.  
  
I think that as of right now, no one comprehends exactly what happened. In fact, I don't even think that I really understand what happened, and I am one that lived through it. How could something so simple as a mission, lead to the chaotic aftermath that we left behind?  
  
Easy. Fate has no reproach for whom she swallows into the dark abyss that is Death.  
  
So we left. We went to kill some nameless, faceless prey of our night. After a while, they're all the same. You don't distinguish one from the other. Sneaking in was no problem, killing the man was no problem either. It was the afterwards that we faltered on. The escaping without a trace and returning to our 'home' is where our plan's flaws were. Flaws that cost us everything.  
  
So why did we allow these flaws to compromise us? Why are we both gone from the Life?  
  
We loved each other. Not the kind that is temporary or merely a one night stand. A love something like one that you've done your whole life, such as a love concerning a mother and her child. It was as if we were destined to be together, live and love together, and die together. And we did all that and more together. But we both died because we compromised each other. Our love for one another escorted us into Death's wide-open arms.  
  
In the end, no one is to blame really. Our actions, but not our lives that sent us. Destiny sent us to die.  
  
As we lay dying, I don't think that either of us could articulate or comprehend what we were going through. I know that I couldn't. All I could and want to remember is that my whole body was numb for the longest time. I didn't feel or couldn't feel any emotions as I watched my other half, my lover... as I watched his hell. Then I could feel nothing as I was coerced into participating in his demise. All emotions left me as I killed him... Then as I killed myself. I felt nothing. I couldn't bring myself to cry.  
  
But on the inside I was filled with unrefined emotion. I wanted to sob, scream and yell.  
  
Stoic we both remained on the outside. Until I could do it no longer. When my part in his hell became known, I couldn't bring myself to not let out my emotions. So I forced myself to do what was required of me, to stop from having his brain blown and splattered all over me. I did what I had to do, hoping that they might spare him, in the very minimal sense. But... no one was spared, save the bastard that put us where we are now.  
  
I would have killed him for what he'd done to my lover. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to be with him...  
  
By now, I'm sure that no one can follow my erratic thoughts. I don't even think that I can follow them any longer. The whole reason for my tirade started with nothing more than an assignment from our women in charge. Manx and Birman, our long time bosses. They'd made a special request that Ken and Omi not be involved on this one. It would scare them, horrify them for the rest of their lives, how ever long they may be. So Ran and I had agreed.  
  
That simple assent is what cost us an unbelievable price that we would never have agreed to pay.  
  
We'd gotten the details and had poured over them long into many sleepless nights. We were so baffled, we'd had to entreat Omi's technical know-how to collaborate a plan of entry, a plan of escape and a plan for all the little things that happened in between. The place we had to infiltrate was more heavily guarded than anything even Omi had seen. But he'd done it. And he'd done the best that could ever be done. It wasn't him that screwed up in the pre-planning, it was us, screwing up out in the field.  
  
So he can't feel guilty. He shouldn't. It was our entire fault that what happened, happened.  
  
Our next step was to find out when he'd be around his office, and mostly alone. So yet again, we relied on Omi to assist us in that department. We watched as he worked long into many nights, pushing himself beyond the breaking point. But still he toiled on, and we threw in our help when and where we could. Then, before we could even think, the day of the mission dawned on us, and I awoke to him crying in my arms, telling me that he hoped we'd both make it out. That he was scared about dying and leaving me, or vice versa.  
  
I calmed him as best I could, but those same fears welled in my mind and hindered me from doing anything.  
  
So as the day progressed, we tried to be as normal as we could. But it was so difficult to be normal with Omi fussing and checking and rechecking, and comparing every fiber of the plan over and over. Eventually, I let him take over. The next time, and... the last time I saw Omi, was when Ken cradled his sleeping form up the stairs, in a protective way. I asked my lover a question with my eyes, but he refused to speak up with his voice.  
  
In that instant, I knew that we were all a team, and we'd do anything for another member.  
  
We were all a team, not just because we lived and worked together. We each had found solace in one of the others. We each had a special bond, some stronger than others, but they were there. We'd all step in to help another if he was hurt, even if he wasn't our significigant other. We were beyond a family. We were each a piece of a whole soul, that protected and was devoted to the well being of all around us.  
  
What would happen if half of this soul were to crack? Would they be the same?  
  
So as the amount of light in the sky dwindled, we prepared for our excursion. We slipped into our worn assassin attire and shouldered our weapons. Our next step was to bid farewell to Ken and the still sleeping Omi, which I know we both probably did with heavy hearts. But we managed to do what we needed to do. With slow, yet fluid movements, we took to the stairs, then into my car. We proceeded to the building and entered as we were supposed to.  
  
It all seemed too easy. We were none the wiser to the real horror that lay behind the facade.  
  
At the precise moment we were supposed to, we split up. Before he left, I grasped the back of his head and pressed my lips against his, in what I now know was our good bye kiss. His lips parted briefly and his tongue snaked out to caress mine, before he pulled back, gave me a loving look, and darted around the corner in a wisp of black leather. I stood, stock still, almost as if in shock, like a cat that's been thrown into a bathtub of water.  
  
Did he know that we were destined to die? Was that why he'd woken, crying, with the knowledge that we'd die?  
  
Even if he did know in some abnormal way, I don't care now. We're together, again, and I'll never leave him or let him leave me again. So we'd split up, each gone our separate ways to avoid presenting a big target, and to cover more ground. We'd met up again, right outside the man's office and had both burst in to kill him. That section of the plan was flawless. I'd bound him with my wire, and Ran had chopped him in half in a mere swipe of the katana he wielded. Then, the sirens began to shriek through the air.  
  
We both looked at each other, horror stricken. For a brief second, our hands found each other, and we squeezed tightly, before we flitted out of the room.  
  
So we separated for the second time that night. I managed to slip out a window and arrived at the rendezvous point all in one piece, minus the blood of those I'd killed on my way back and forth. So I sat on my car hood, and waited. Still I waited more. Then, the beeping of my computer startled me. Looking in, I found Ken's face, with a barely awake Omi beside him.  
  
"What's going on?' I asked, apprehension clear in my tone of voice.  
  
"It's a trap Yoji. They've captured Ran, in hope to get you back in to rescue him. Yoji... they're... they're torturing him, killing him slowly with his own mind." Omi managed to spit out before he slumped sideways again.  
  
"He ok Ken?" I asked, allowing my concern for the youngest of us get through.  
  
"He's fine. Just still under the sleeping pills. He had to convey that to you before he drove himself into a frenzy. So I allowed him to do that. Let me put him on the couch and I can try to help you coordinate from here." Ken stated, knowing that by this time, I was almost in a frenzy myself.  
  
With a shake of my head, I bolted away from the car and back to the death trap that would kill the both of us. I didn't give a fuck about my life. At that moment, the only thing that mattered was saving him from that torture. I just didn't want him to suffer through any more pain.  
  
That was my last thought before I slipped into that place in the back of your mind where nothing makes sense.  
  
I entered a huge room, and the first thing I noticed wasn't my lover. But the endless amount of screens that lined an entire wall, playing clips of Aya-cahn, Ran's little sister. A few of the clips even contained and 18 year old Ran, or younger. I just stood and my gaze flickered from monitor to monitor, taking in all the images. But, before I could say anything, all the monitors merged, showing one giant scene that took up the whole wall.  
  
In that instant, I knew how they were killing his mind. A thing that drives us all mad when someone we know is killed or injured. Guilt.  
  
A young girl in a dark blue kimono ran from a demolished building towards her trapped brother. As she ran, a black car squealed out of no where and hit her. The girl fell screaming, to the pavement, while the trapped boy screamed her name, before passing out. As they both lay out cold, a small goldfish flopped around on the pavement beside the girl and a small package fell from the boy's hand, out of which a hint of a long gold bar fell.  
  
I'd heard a brief explanation as to what had happened. But this... was taking the word guilt to a new height...  
  
I looked the room over for Ran, and my eyes found him, and my heart stopped in my chest. His regular trench coat had been removed, along with his complicated boots and socks, leaving him in is wrist length gloves, tank top, and his black pants. But that wasn't what made my eyes bulge out of my head. My lover had been bound, hands behind his back, in practical handcuff position. In addition, he had a gag shoved into his mouth, and in a display of emotion I hardly saw, had tears rolling down his face, like crystal beads.  
  
He cried because he couldn't help himself, and cried because I had to see him like this.  
  
Then, a sharp voice called out an order, which I had no choice to obey, since I was now staring down the barrel of mini-Uzi, a nice miniature machine gun. So I stripped off my jacket and removed the gag from Ran's mouth.  
  
"Yoji, they slipped me a needle of some drug. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to die. It's going to eat my muscles then my organs, then my bones until there's nothing left.", I heard him choke out quietly. "I want you to kill me, after your safety is assured. I don't want to suffer and be used by him. I'd be able to die happy knowing it was you who took my life." He finished quietly.  
  
I stared at him, almost shock on my face. Before I finally comprehended what he wanted. I nodded my head and gently brushed my lips against him, in a show of understanding. His eyes searched mine, and conveyed an unspoken message that I knew all too well.  
  
I love you, forever.  
  
I slowly kissed the skin along his jawbone, before nipping lightly at his lips. A whimper of pain told me that the drug he'd been injected with was taking its toll. So instead of trying to work him to the brink of orgasm, then throwing him over it, I changed my plans and went straight to the entire thing this man wanted to see. So using as much gentleness as I could find, I entered him slowly. Then, I began the old time dance that we'd done together so many times. As I tried to speed up without hurting him, I covered his lips with mine and stayed there until we both fell over the edge.  
  
I felt like the worst. It isn't really rape if he's my partner, but we both despised anything like this, and to me, I was doing nothing more than raping him.  
  
The man just stood above me, gun still trained on my head. Looking down at Ran, I let a single tear fall onto his face. Reaching into my arm, I pulled out my emergency dagger and I kissed him one last time, delving into his mouth, tasting sweat mixed with his own essence. As our mouths stayed connected, I brought the dagger up and brought it down into his chest. He gasped and I pulled my mouth away, to watch his face contort with a mix of pain and joy. Then, his last breath left and all of his body was still.  
  
The innocence lost... the murder of one... All that was left was step three.  
  
I slowly disentangled myself from the lifeless, sting-like limbs and rose to my feet. The man that stood before me put his gun away and began to walk away. My mouth was glued firmly shut, no words could even come to my mind. So I just stood and looked at his body for one last time. Plucking out my dagger, I just stared at the blood that ran down it. Taking a deep breath, I lunged it into my chest and collapsed to the ground, the face permanently emblazed in my mind of Persia, the man that had raised us into the assassins that we are now.  
  
The suicide of the one left behind... the final step in the chapter of our solo mission.  
  
So that's how I ended up here, telling what happened to us. The whole experience killed us. If Omi and Ken were to ever find out who was behind our deaths, then all hell would be broken lose. But at least now, we can be together, and make each other happy, and not have to worry about dying. The effects can't be helped, but we're happy I'll be the most happy, when it's their time, Ken and Omi join us, so we can be a whole again. Until then, Ran and I will be a whole, together forever.  
  
This is what happens when you dream in silver and gold. Life is many shades, and far from perfect. Our dream crashed into reality is why we are here.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
That's that. It's finished, and at some points, I reread it and it scared me. Well, I hope that even if I don't win for the drama contest, that you all enjoy reading it!  
  
Owaranaimono Aite 


End file.
